Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
