That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
