can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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