so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Found your dick twin last night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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