All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
