Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Randomize
