I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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