I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
