dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
