Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
