I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
