I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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