guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize