Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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