yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
