escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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