I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
