saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
