I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
