sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
