I didn't shave. On purpose
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
