Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
