before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
