farters have to be the big spoon...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
