Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize