they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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