sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
North Korea, Best Korea!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
