8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
