Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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