I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
