Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
