Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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