her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize