at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
