I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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