Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize