I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
