Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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