New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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