i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
