I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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