champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
