He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
