Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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