Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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