There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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