Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I looked at my own cervix.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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