Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.

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(516): View more from New York

he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010

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(718): View more from New York

He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.

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(770): View more from Georgia

No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.

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