you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize