I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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