i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
