i think my tv is drunk
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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