that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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