My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
