I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
