Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
