Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
your room smells of hookers.
And success
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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